Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
