You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
