You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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