alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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