so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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