Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
