Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
