I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
