Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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