Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
