Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
