he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
organizing the empties. That sober.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
