I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
