At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize