Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
