i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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