Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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