some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
