We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
