I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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