Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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