awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
