ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
