After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There's always time for handjobs
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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