you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
