We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
