Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
