He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
