4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
