i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
