people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
