That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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