she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
