I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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