my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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