so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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