I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
