Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
