are you still at the devil's house?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
where are my eyebrows?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
