Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
