I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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