windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize