New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize