Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
