i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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