how can u be prego again
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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