Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
