Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
