I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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