forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
