Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
