good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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