Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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