I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
