Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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