Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
