Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
