It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Small penises have feelings too.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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