Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Small penises have feelings too.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
