i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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