I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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