I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
