Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
