Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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