shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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