I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
